NOTE to Cassie and Angela: This is 'dialogue between the two' and I'm assuming that their conversation is meant to introduce the reader to who they are and their relationships (That's how I'm interpreting this assignment.) I'm including body language since body language is a form of communication.
Ian Wilson, MC of Ian's Realm Trilogy.
“I don’t get it, Dad. I mean, I thought I was your whole world, like you are mine.”
“How was I to know what was going to happen in those caves, Ian? It was a nightmare for me as well.”
“Yeah. But after that? Why didn’t you come home?”
“Things changed after that.”
Ian nodded. “Yeah, they did. I stopped being important to you.”
“That’s not true, son.”
“No? Then where were you ? Why did I think I was an orphan? Where were you when the dragon almost killed me? Where were you when the Kaemperns took me prisoner? I'll tell you where. Nowhere! My dad was nowhere.”
Dad reached out, but Ian swung his shoulders away. “Son, if I could have suffered in your place I would have.”
Ian spit.
Dad’s voice softened. “Remember when you nailed that love letter to Abbi over my wooden Foundry sign outside our house?”
Ian didn’t answer.
“Remember how you pounded that piece of torn cardboard over my name? You were mad, but it was your day, your milestone. It was the best thing you ever did for yourself.”
Silence.
“Maybe it wasn’t the best way, but I had to step out of your life. You needed the kind of friends you found in the Realm. You need the kind of love Abbi gives you. I can’t be everything for you.”
Ian squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment, and finally opened them again to see his father’s tears. “You’re right,” he whispered and swallowed. “I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Me too, son.”
O.M.G! My heart sobbed for that little boy. I love how I can feel their love for one another. Great job!
ReplyDeleteFather son issues are great to place in the story. Really engages the reader and tugs at their heart. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteVery nice. I like the idea that the dad made Ian struggle so he could grow as a person.
ReplyDeleteOh, so sad and powerful. This is the first non boy/girl scene I've read today and it was nice to see that! ;-)
ReplyDelete~JD
I'm a sucker for father scenes. This was so great, and so much emotion just in this little bit. Great job! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely exchange, and I really felt for both Ian and his father. Beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteOh I love it. It's very touching and I could feel the tension between the two of them throughout the whole passage. I love how the dad had to sacrifice his time with his son to help him become the person he's meant to be. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad they had a make up at the end there. It was heart wrenching. Great job with the dialogue.
ReplyDeleteOh this was so sad. I could really feel Ian's pain at losing his dad. I'd love to know the full story behind this, and what happened to Ian's dad, and why.
ReplyDeleteExcellent stuff.
If this scene were a movie, it would HAVE to have "Cats In The Cradle" played on a zither as the score. And that's a compliment. I, too, am a sucker for father scenes, because I not only HAVE a father (only Anakin DIDN'T have one) but I AM a father, and so I could kind of get a feeling for both sides of what's going on here.
ReplyDeleteNot that I needed it. The dialogue carries the emotions well, and serves as a good teaser for this story. Nicely done.
I'm not sure that "Dad" should be capitalized. But I liked the dialogue. Oooh dragons...that got me interested.
ReplyDeleteGreat job with the emotions. I feel for both of them!
ReplyDeleteMan, I felt so sad. :( But, that's a good thing! Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis was a touching exhange. You did an excellent job of showing your characters' emotions. I loved it. I am a new follower from the bloghop.
ReplyDeleteSad (and well written). There is so much here in just 250 words. My heart breaks for them!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much everyone. Been gone all day. I'm going to go catch up on reading posts, now. Michael, one 'dad' wasn't supposed to be capitalized but the others are used as pronouns so they are. I fixed it, thanks. Briane, I'll go check out that music.
ReplyDeleteHow touching is this! And such a mature young man to figure out such a hard lesson and to listen to his father.
ReplyDelete*New follower* :) So nice to *meet* you :)
Interesting, I really feel for Ian, although I dont trust the dad...I feel like he is going to do something bad again.
ReplyDeleteVery touching and emotional. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWow! So much story was contained in such a short piece of dialogue. Good job.
ReplyDeleteDitto Trisha's comment. I was just thinking how awesome the voice and story plot was.
ReplyDelete.......dhole
WOW. . . This is really amazing. I can really feel the characters emotions. . .Great job! :)
ReplyDelete~Elizabeth